Artists are Lovely Assholes

"Art School Confidential" is a movie that I laughed at very hard. I've been told recently my sense of humour is dark.

Fine. This isn't a flick you'd like if you didn't know anything about artists or liberal arts colleges or what counts as funny.

But if you do know about any of those things, this movie is for you! I'd watch it a dozen more times. Nearly every character is a horrible person, behaving ridiculously. It sends up celebrity, idiots, poseurs, snobs, lesbians, cops, professors and hypocrite hot girls!! The best!

When I was a kid, everyone thought I was an art prodigy for 5 minutes. My aunt is a painter and she took me to all these museums. My mom put me in art classes. Then an actual prodigy showed up to my class and everyone made a big deal of his goddamn shoe sketch. I got in the car, age 7, and told my mom "I'm done with art." I still draw with the same skill as I did in Grade 2.

But I'm still fascinated with art and artists, because why not. Here are two books that also make fun of the art scene! "Theft" by Booker Prize winning Peter Carey is the tits. I don't care if you never read, you should read that book. It's hysterical and clever. "An Object of Beauty" is another book about criminals in the art world, only it's written by Steve fucking Martin. And actually it's pretty good.

All Good Things

"All Good Things" is pretty good.

You should watch it if:

(a) you like the guy who plays Ron Swanson, but want to see what he'd look like as a vulnerable man crying in a car;

(b) you like the guy who is Ryan Gosling and want to see if you'd still do him if he were a psychopath in drag (...no comment);

(c) you are curious about how people get away with murder;

(d) you want to see Kirsten Dunst have her spirit broken onscreen and then turn into a believably tragic cocaine addict; or

(e) a creepy stranger invites you to move in with him and you're wondering if that's a good idea.

I'll miss you forever, Ebert

I should put more energy and thought into writing a memorial post for my virtual dad, Roger Ebert. I should but I haven't got it in me right now.

I was just reading his review of "Stoker" last week. God. He was right, also. He said that Matthew Goode has a promising future. See? He and I coincidentally have the same opinion most of the time. Not about "Juno" but many, many flicks. Same thoughts.

Fuck fuck fuck. Death is bullshit. Buy his books, don't read my garbage non-reviews.

As my Kazakhstani friend Anastasia once said, when I asked her why she insisted on chain-smoking, "Everybody dies." It's true. Life is finite. Live live live now, while you can, while you are.

Live life like someone's watching and they'll change the channel if you start to be boring. But don't be cruel. Right? Who knows.

This is a very metaphorical tribute, but I like this as a way to say goodbye to special things, special people, parts of life that are over. But remembered! A show about death knows how to end things.

Here's to you, Ebs. You make me want to be better at everything.