Procrastinator's Liveblog

Don't read this probably, unless you are also a procrastinator and you want to remember what pain is like. I'm going to liveblog my attempt to finish my term paper at the 11 and a half hour. I am, apparently, incorrigible. This preamble itself is a procrastination.

To justify the following, and maybe to keep me going, I'll try to inject some recommendations for motivating movies. Here we go!

7 AM:
Already off to a great start by snoozing the alarm for two hours, but whatever! Positive, positive, positive!!

Here are my goals for the day that I will try to stick to like I'm trying to hold my breath underwater until my eyes bleed (I was so good at those games as a kid -- what happened? NEVERMIND, FOCUS!):
*30 pages by 10; *36 pages by 1; *40 pages by 3; finish page count by 5.

*THEN edit first issue by 8; edit second issue by 11; edit third issue by 2. Sleep 5 hours. Wake up and edit final issue by 10. Re-edit whole draft by 2pm. Send it off. Think up apologies for how I have betrayed this prof's trust by handing in an embarrassing piece of mediocre buffoonery!!!

First off for motivation-- Kill Bill!! Remember when she has to train as a warrior and she's so tired and dying but she keeps going because FUCK BILL, right?!? She drags her dead limbs around and gets into a truck and moves her atrophied toes, all after waking up from a coma?!?! Paper-writing is way less hard than that!!

7:47 -- why the Hell am I reading a gossip blog already?! Aboriginal self-governance isn't going to fucking explain itself!

8:56 -- Only at 26 pages; unlikely I'll be able to write four more in 1 hour...also I have to rewrite 70% of what I've written. Not just in this section, but in total. WILL SHOWER AND KEEP GOING. Writing is so hard!!

12:11 -- Did watching 53 minutes of Downton Abbey help the paper?! REALLY? Did it?! "You know, a WWI period drama would really put my troubles in perspective" -- said the idiot girl

1:06 -- I'm smoking. I don't even like smoking.

2:23 -- Currently feeling deludedly reassured. Do you ever think your life is one long parade of re-enacting the same mistakes?

8:14 -- I've...not given up, per se? But I've certainly managed to convince myself that the mediocre piece of cat puke I'm handing in tomorrow is somehow acceptable. It is, after all, only a "first draft". See? I'm already a lawyer.

9:30 -- I'm just staring at the internet.

11:39 -- how do you say "sorry, but I fuuuuucckkkkkkkkkED UP" in an email to a professional?