Nothing Original Here

I've been wasting time!! Yesterday I was bitch-slapped, or whatever the correspondence equivalent. My paper was "slack". I KNOW. So is my life! Better tighten things up, but first a lightning-round, irrelevant blog of recommendations!! None of the following are mind-blowing but I stand by them!

1. "House of Cards"-- it pisses me a off a little bit that Netflix can just decide it knows what we want and then we all prove Netflix right. It's not as good as TV can get but it's worthwhile. Mostly because of Robin Wright. Have you seen her lately? Did you know she made out with Ben Foster last year? She is unstoppable. I want all of her clothes from this show. Evil people doing manipulative things! What more do you want from your internet TV?

2. "Zero Dark Thirty" -- my parents were both in the military so I actually know what this means. What else I know is that Jessica Chastain is the coolest cat on the scene. I can't even write fun compliments today. I'm worthless. Maybe I should get rich and ask Jessica to portray my subconscious as it battles my internal white-girl demons and then I'll understand.

3. "Anna Karenina"-- Joe Wright and Keira Knightley have this whole thing down pat. Some people didn't really like it because they thought the theatrics were TOO THEATRIC. Whatever, it's Russian literature, why not? I think this is definitely a good movie for girls who like that sort of thing. And Tom Stoppard wrote the screenplay, so watch it and then namedrop Stoppard at your next social event.

4. Oh guess who read a book? I DID. "Ready Player One" is made for gamers, but I actually enjoyed it. A bit too tidy at the end. Still, it was fast-moving with cutesy characters and if you want to impress a nerd, give him this.

5. Sports oh no wait, just kidding, fuck sports. How about dramatic period-pieces instead?!