Y'all Don't Care

...but blog is on hiatus until I'm done exams. I will post a lot of my drunk/ high movie reviews around the holiday time though, since that is the only way I can get through family parties.

In the meantime, this is a fair representation of my ability to study for securities class, given my 0% understanding of economics:

Silverlinings Fever Time

So. I should be doing more to prepare for exams. But at least my amateur comedy attempts are going really well! I saw Silverlinings Playbook the other night. Yeah, it's pretty great. Jennifer Lawrence is the real goddamn deal. Bradley Cooper is less cute than normal, which helps the part immensely, and then Robert DeNiro reminds you why everyone makes such a big deal about DeNiro.

You would probably really enjoy it...Is it my absolute favourite of all time? Well, no. But it lives up to the hype about as much as I thought The Hunger Games did, and that's pretty good. Mental illness is a thing I know well enough...This movie certainly tries to show you that side of life, and they do it quite well. So well that I weirdly cried in the bathroom stall at the theatre after the movie because the character really reminded me of my friend who died.

Note: I cry DURING movies fairly often, the most psychotically being Brokeback Mountain (I cried for honestly the entire last third of that movie...my friend was laughing at me a lot) and The Whistleblower (oh HOLY GOD you guys, that one is SAD). Both of those are good movies (actually, Brokeback is one of my top five of all time) but at least Silverlinings is funny too. The crying AFTER the movie thing, that was new. Probably just sad about Jenn-- but what a realistic character, you know?

Also I have a fucking fever right now and I have no time to be sick. I hate hate hate being sick, blah blah obviously, but especially during end of term. Just because, here is another of my favourite underrated comedies (Hamlet 2-- check out my lawyer girl inspiration) and adequately rated drama (if I met someone and they were like "LA Confidential wasn't great" I would say "we will never be friends, sir/madam, that is for sure"-- and if that person was an authority figure of some kind, I would still say that in my head/ with my eyes)

Ben Schwartz foreverrrrrrr -- and Andrew Garfield

Quick note-- funniest hot guy currently working, besides Anthony Jeselnik. BEN SCHWARTZ. Ridiculous funny. See all his Collegehumor stuff immediately, and then watch Parks & Rec, and then go see his stuff on funnyordie...and then watch House of Lies too.

Behold!!

and also!!!

...and and and!

He also brings up in podcasts, or others do, that he looks like Andrew Garfield. Yeah, he does. AG is also a smokeshow. I saw him on Broadway last April, so I can say that with authority. But I'll recommend his stuff another day.

Smashed -- perfection & ugly dresses

I was excitedly waiting to see Smashed for three weeks. Sometimes I get a feeling about movies that I know will be amazing. I used to read tarot cards so I'm kind of psychic. The movie premonitions just confirms that, I say.

In the last year I had that feeling about Moonrise Kingdom, and correct! Wonderful, story-book charm and oddness so cute and funny, even my dad laughed. Yeah, some people don't like Wes Anderson. Fair. I disagree with those people, but I get it. Still, this one is his best. I'm not the only one to say that. Who the fuck is funnier than Bill Murray, right?

But Smashed, holy cow. It's about an alcoholic young woman who gets sober, but it's a comedy too. It's not easy to make a realistic addiction story that's also very touching. Think of 28 Days, which is still actually pretty sweet, but super well done and even more real. Realest of real. That's this movie. Literally a movie where you'll probably laugh and cry. Best thing I've seen in a very, very long time. If there were any justice, Mary Elizabeth Winstead would get an Oscar. And the onscreen relationship with Aaron Paul, who plays her husband, is the absolute sweetest and saddest. Do you like Breaking Bad? Then watch this!! Do you have a heart that beats?!?!?! Same thing.

And here is my actual favourite by Wes Anderson (find the entirety of Hotel Chevalier here):

Life is Ending By the Minute

I've never feared death and never understood why people get all worked up about it. UNTIL TODAY. The way I sometimes freak out about running out of time for immediate issues, like an assignment that's due or preparing for exams (also in my brain-fears right now, but that's the usual)-- today I thought "oh my god, I only have another 13 years to look hot, then I'm old." Even with a lot of work and lucky genes, I've got maybe 15-16 years. THAT IS SO LITTLE TIME, YOU GUYS.

Then it just goes and goes and you die. Maybe you die sooner! And there is nothing you can do about it!!

Pleasant thoughts. SO let's all fill up our slowly dissolving lives with good times and good movies!! I'm too busy with work to do a proper update today, so trust me these movies are great and you'll love them. If you don't, you can flick my arm and complain about your waste of 1.5-2hrs, since time is the one truly non-renewable resource we have. And I will be like "I'M SO SORRY" and I'll buy you a beer and do something memorable or ridiculous for at least 15 minutes to amuse you, which hopefully you will store in your memory and therefore extend your life by remembering more of it (IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?! I DON'T EVEN...)

Anyway:

Perfume!! Story of murder and Dustin Hoffman, really pretty ladies, really creepy premise, really wicked cool ending. This thing is all plot and intrigue. Super-underrated. Enjoy!!

Igby Goes Down -- I've seen it like eight or nine times and I'd see it again another twelve, maybe. Like Catcher in the Rye, but with Claire Danes and Kieran McCaulkin smoking pot in Central Park. Plus, Ryan Phillippe plays the douchebag role he was born to play.

The Secret Lives of Dentists-- I just love this, and especially if I'm sick. It's the absolute best movie to watch if you're sick in bed. It's also just straight-up amazing and sad and true-to-life. Hope Davis never does a bad flick.

Clean & Winter

Winter's Bone is what I call my favourite movie. It's a very moving story, and Jennifer Lawrence plays the toughest cookie of all time. This is the movie that got her The Hunger Games (and a lead actress Oscar nomination, if you care about such things)--and she is brilliant.

The best part of this movie is the character is human, but so fucking brave. She's terrified, she's up against the worst shit, she's 17, and she still gets the most amazing things done. It's things like this, watching characters on these journeys, that made the Greeks invent their epic dramas (according to Martha Nussbaum). Watch how it happens, watch what people are capable of, see into life a little bit.

Or hell, just be entertained.

It's on youtube, for now. As is Clean, with Maggie Cheung. That is another of my all-time favourites, also a story centring on a woman going through some super tough shit, but being unbelievable all the while. I like these movies because they don't tell you these girls are incredible in some montage of them strutting down a Manhattan sidewalk and walking fast in heels towards some fancy office job. The whole story builds, and you see by the others, by their interactions, by the relationships that you find in the middle, how awesome they are.

If I had half of what these fictional women have...well, you try. You always have to try to be better.

Here is a link to the best scene in Winter's Bone (watch it for five minutes and see if you're not convinced): [sorry you have to click through to get the pinpoint link]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE1ibJVeawQ&t=45m05s


And here is the entirety of Clean--

And just because it helped me do the splits and become weirdly good at yoga, here's Rodney Yee (this little 25 minute work out doesn't seem like much, but holy shit, do it everyday for a month and you will notice intense, magical results).

Deadwood -- don't let em grind you down

Go watch Deadwood, because if you want to see how people are insane and how things really are, with friends, acquaintances, colleagues...all the simultaneous jealousies and loyalties. You want to learn how to hold you head up when you know the people think you're awful, and they're not right, but obviously you're intolerable to them, and you hate them too, and this how it always always goes? Deadwood gets things so right, maybe more than Sopranos, more than Six Feet Under-- I can re-watch that old timey mud drama a million times. Also, no one is hotter than Timothy Olyphant. No one.

I'm not really a prostitute, but I identify with Trixie more than any other character of fiction.